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It has been a minute.........

Blogging is not what I thought it would be...It's fucking hard!! I want to deliver interesting content to you guys good and bad. Lately I have been going through a self-transitioning. I have been reprogramming my subconscious mind. I have doing a lot of researching on the matter even that's fucking hard and my subconscious is stubborn. I realized yesterday the environment I am in on a daily bases "the daytimer" that sucks the life source out of me. When I am at the daytimer I try and focus on my mantras, affirmations, or listing to a YouTuber explain the process of transforming yourself and someone or something from the daytimer will unleash the black cloud on me. Yesterday in a conversation I was said to be miserable and it hurt to hear that and it stuck in my mind for the whole day. Here I was working so hard to change my subconscious, grow and I was seen as miserable. That person also called me a Hero a Work-Hero, but that miserable stuck with me. The truth is Friday was a suck ass of a day. I'm realizing most days at work are either good or suck ass. It's because I am giving so much energy to an environment that honestly doesn't really care for me personally and I don't get the respect or acknowledgement for what I do. I take on new responsibilities no increase. I sacrifice my lunch break to work straight through or I will swallow my food and keep working, no acknowledgement. Someone inconsiderately puts work on too late I come back in the middle of the night not just one Friday but two Fridays in a row to take the work off, no thank you, no increase, no acknowledgement. In the end I am exhausted and feel like I'm moving nowhere. The people I work with they do not aspire to do more or be more that job is it for them. They don't even realize they make the job unbearable because they are the ones actually miserable and I am stuck in the bullshit TEMPORARILY. There is so much I want to do with my day and my energy is zapped when I leave from there. This week I will work extra hard to stay focused on my self-growth, preservation, sanity, and all the other positive self words out there.

Here is one of the YouTube vids I listen too and a article from

Powerful Thoughts Mediation Club:I AM Gratitude > Gratitude & Self Love

Happier note the kid started 11th grade. She was asked by her camp to speak at a fundraiser!! She was also

interviewed for her first live podcast. Camp used her picture to promote camp wishes. I am proud and grateful for the young lady she is turning out to be. The man and I are great we had a sub par dinner with some great friends last weekend. Oh how I wish the food matched the good time. We are on Week 12 of no meat soooo let me tell you meals need to be fabulous at all times dammit!!! None of that sub par bs Oh and my shoes that night were FABULOUS!!!!

S.B. I really like Silence Mind on YouTube while doing this blog I listened too 20 Min Morning Meditation for Gratitude and Prosperity to Get Set Start you day


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