Consistency: My Trigger Word

It’s August 21, and today I realized something important: I have a trigger word. That word is consistency.

I know I love myself deeply, but I’m also aware that I’m often the one holding myself back. Today, in the middle of the afternoon, it really hit me.

Therapy Reflections

I had a session with my therapist today, and honestly, it upset me. I’m starting to wonder if it’s time for a new chapter in therapy—maybe even a new therapist. Sometimes I feel like she isn’t really listening anymore. I know I have a habit of over-talking people, but lately, it feels like she’s over-talking me. Today she asked me a question that not only annoyed me—it pissed me off. It made me wonder: Who do you think I am? What do you think I do with my life?

That moment left me questioning whether we’ve reached a point where it might be time to step away, at least for a while.

My Body, My Struggles

My trigger word—consistency—came back to me when I thought about my body. I had knee surgery in 2021. Physical therapy helped a lot, but when it ended, it became my responsibility to keep up with the exercises. And I didn’t.

Lately, my feet have been hurting in ways I’ve never felt before. The moment I step out of bed in the morning, my heels ache terribly. I did some research and found out it could be connected to menopause. (Why do all our issues start with “men” anyway?!)

So today, I asked ChatGPT if collagen peptides would help with my joints—my knees, ankles, and feet. The answer was detailed and encouraging, with suggestions for brands and a reminder that it takes 8–12 weeks of consistent use to see results. And there it was again: consistent.

The second I read that word, I thought: Here we go again. I’m going to let myself down.

My Blogging Struggle

Even with this blog—Mom Sweet Hustle—I’ve lacked consistency. I love this space, but I don’t always know what direction it’s going in. Sometimes I feel like my life isn’t exciting enough to share.

Most days, I go to work, come home, maybe cook dinner, workout, read, or watch TV. What’s so special about that? Why would anyone care? And to be real, my job drains me. I enjoy problem-solving and making things happen, but people and responsibilities take so much out of me. By the time I get home, creating content is the last thing on my mind.

Someone recently told me: You give so much to your job, but you don’t put anything into your own dreams. That hit me hard because they’re right.

Cakes & Creativity

Another conversation reminded me of this. I mentioned I make cakes, and the person was shocked. At work, I keep a digital frame that rotates through pictures of my cakes. When I showed him, he said: Why are you here?

The truth is, I make beautiful, delicious cakes—but the business side has drained my joy. Customers don’t want to pay my worth, or they want things I don’t enjoy making. And even though I love learning new techniques and seeing other cake artists thrive online, I know they put 3,000% into it because that’s their full-time hustle. Me? I don’t have the energy or desire to deal with difficult customers anymore. I need to figure out how to do this in a way that brings me joy, not stress.

The Bigger Picture

Beyond cakes, there are so many things I want for myself:

• Getting my health back on track

• Growing healthy hair and glowing skin

• Traveling more and spending time with loved ones

• Finishing my apartment, and one day building my own home

• Buying a boat and jet skis, getting my boating license, and even learning to swim

These dreams live in my heart. I don’t always share them because I don’t want anyone mocking me. But deep down, I also don’t care what anyone thinks—I just want to live my life joyfully.

The hard part? Debt. I won’t sugarcoat it—I have debt, and it’s heavy. I’ve been working on plans (with help from ChatGPT too), but it’s hard balancing paying it down while still enjoying life. At 45, I don’t have the same energy I did in my 20s and early 30s to hustle endlessly. I’m looking for balance.

Small Reminders That Matter

Today, someone texted me: You’re on my mind. I asked why, and they replied: It’s just your vibe—and how you love cartoons. That little message meant a lot. It reminded me that people see me for who I am. I don’t have to change my vibe.

I may not have it all figured out at 45, but that’s okay. I saw a post that said: You can fail at 45 and start over at 46. You can buy your first house at 50. That gave me peace.

Where I’m At

I love myself. I love God. I want to be free, at peace, and full of joy. My word—consistency—still feels like a challenge, but I’m learning to take one step at a time.

So if you’re reading this and you’ve struggled with consistency too, or if you’d actually enjoy seeing my everyday life, let me know. Sometimes I feel like no one would care to see the “boring” parts of my life, but maybe I’m wrong.

At the end of the day, I’m just me—a 45-year-old woman still figuring it out. And maybe that’s enough.

✨ Thanks for reading, and if you’ve got words of encouragement (or you just want to say hey), drop me a message. Holler at your girl.